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A Visit To The Supermarket

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2007, 00:25
by 14yearoldchevetter
14 Tips To Ensure an Enjoyable time at the supermarket...
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in Housewares..." and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices again!!!

And last but not least:

>14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here.

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2007, 06:05
by Chevette Girl
My favourite was always to ask if there was someone useful around to "service" me... generally asked in a really loud voice when I couldn't find someone to help me...

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2007, 06:09
by CancerWagon

For the first one, be sure to use "multi color flavoured sucking condoms." to kick it up a notch. :twisted:

PostPosted: 25 Mar 2007, 11:36
by 14yearoldchevetter
CancerWagon wrote: For the first one, be sure to use "multi color flavoured sucking condoms." to kick it up a notch. :twisted:

LMFAO :lol: :lol: