Novas, Saxos etc.

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Novas, Saxos etc.

Postby Shellysowner » 24 Mar 2005, 02:14

The latest installment of me being bored and a lot of townies trying to sell their sh*theaps on ebay.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 60923&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 69734&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 80441&rd=1

It's those bodykits again (who could possibly think that looks good) plus a car that wants to be a scooby. But frankly novas are getting a bit samey, funny but samey. Saxos, it turns out, are far more hilarious and this is just the edited highlights of the many hundred of 'accident at the ol plastic works'-mobiles.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 10532&rd=1 I thought this was funny until I saw...
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 41612&rd=1 1.1 power!!! And if ever a car said 'I am a [email protected]'
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 96923&rd=1
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 87638&rd=1 Niiice and finally...
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 25183&rd=1
Urban-racing! (under windscreen).

urgh: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 77341&rd=1

And all that from searching for nova, saxo and bodykit, I haven't done corsa yet but that should be funny. Incidentally, do you have this sort of thing over in NZ torton? Is anywhere safe?
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Postby Shellysowner » 24 Mar 2005, 02:20

Sorry you're all having to waste your time clicking on my stupid ebay links but I think we have a winner...

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 06421&rd=1

" It never fails to get admiring looks wherever you go..." Yeah, that's what they are :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Shellysowner » 24 Mar 2005, 02:26

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 57043&rd=1

Hahahaha...sorry I'll stop in a minute.
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Postby Doive » 24 Mar 2005, 02:30

You're right, the corsa wins it. It looks like one of those cartoons where someone swallows a stick of dynamite and they expand to twice their normal size.

But I disagree on the novas, I reckon they are always good for a laugh - predictable stupid neds. Quoting the second one in your list: "ONE-OFF DELTA REAR BUMPER", as can be seen in the pic below.

Image

I think we can all agree that looks fairly awful. But wait, what's this?? Another Nova fitted with the same unique bumper? Surely some mistake.

Image

Morons. And that's not including the muppet from last week who again had the same unique bumper fitted. Why bother?! Why spend thousands of pounds so people can laugh at you? I can do that for 50 quid - its called 'how to buy an Austin Allegro'.
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Postby Doive » 24 Mar 2005, 02:42

For half the price of the above sh*theaps you could buy something like this

Image

Or if that doesn't tickle your fancy, one like this little beauty might....

Image

At least it shows some people have a brain of their own and aren't just sheep sticking whatever Lax Power says is cool onto your 1.1 budget pile of festering crap french shopping trolley.
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Postby Shellysowner » 24 Mar 2005, 03:00

I think I've found the perfect compromise between the ned cars and your alternatives doive...

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v180/metronut/net_car_1.jpg" alt="metro"/>

As for the rover, SD1 me up baby - only I'd prefer a V8 to the six-pot :D

Here's an interesting one for you...

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... eName=WDVW
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Postby Doive » 24 Mar 2005, 03:45

That metro is quite ghastly. Ick. My flatmate has a red Rover metro and it looks so much better than that, we are hoping to do a little light modification to it when it reaches the end of its natural life - 2.0 turbo metro anyone?

The twin plenum is the daddy and I would sell vital organs for a good one, but sadly that isn't a good one. Some pond life appear to have nicked it and used the 190bhp to rob somewhere - someone has been watching too much Snatch (a great film but sadly a series 3 xj6 and an SD1 vitesse both get destroyed).
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Postby Shellysowner » 24 Mar 2005, 12:01

Doive wrote: 2.0 turbo metro anyone?


No. Those rover 100 things should all be scrapped, ghastly bit of kit and one of only 2 cars in recent years to score 0 in the which car front impact test (the other was the old chrysler voyager).
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Postby Doive » 24 Mar 2005, 14:20

I know the crash safety isn't up to much, but have you ever driven one of these things? It's like a roller skate, and with a k series under the bonnet its nippy enough. Having said that, it can't keep up with the chevette.
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Postby Shoveitpusher » 25 Mar 2005, 10:05

friend of mine co-drives in a Sd1 Rover, sideways everywhere usually off the road.

please don't start on about crash safety. crashing isn't safe in anything. just because your vehicle has a couple of euro stars doesn't mean hitting a truck or tree isn't going to hurt.

i have hit a tree head on in such a metro in the paddock at Cadwell Park and the car stood up just fine. still hurt though
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Postby Shellysowner » 25 Mar 2005, 12:24

shoveitpusher wrote:please don't start on about crash safety. crashing isn't safe in anything. just because your vehicle has a couple of euro stars doesn't mean hitting a truck or tree isn't going to hurt.


It might make the difference between having a steering wheel through your chest or not or a pedal box through your leg though!!!

shoveitpusher wrote:i have hit a tree head on in such a metro in the paddock at Cadwell Park


How did you manage to hit a tree in the paddock????!!!!!
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Postby Shoveitpusher » 26 Mar 2005, 08:35

point 1, wear a seat belt, if you have one of those wonderful safety devices called an airbag pray you don't have a double impact. the newer belts are more elastic (actually i am a fan of front airbags)

pedal boxs have moved on a lot, the shear systems are very useful, as long as your leg is the regulation strength and doesn't shatter before the pedal comes up against it's catcher. but do you seriously think if you hit something with enough force to move the pedal box it's going to be a nice experiance?

for crash safety look at Volvo or Saab, they did studies on real crashes and were critical of the whole crash safety scene. their claim was that they could build a car to pass the test, but it wouldn't necessarily be safe in a crash in the real world.

point is crashes hurt, despite the engineers best efforts. thinking the terms crash and safety go together is dangerous. TVR's safety comment about the spike on the steering wheel is very good, don't have the crash in the first place. if your thinking this isn't possible go through a few scenarios, could the accident have psooibly been avoided just by the innocent party doing something, be that observation or manouver.

at cadwell when they ran rallies there the stage used to start in the paddock, go down hill parralell to the tarmac track on the chalk. up the steep hill towards the spectator area. at the top of the hill are some trees. as we came up the hill towards the trees a combination af mis-aligned steering (we hit a tree stump) and bump in the road and a very tight slipper diff spat us off the track sideways and i looked up to see a flamin great tree about to hit the middle of the bumper. it was a definate ouch moment
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Postby Shellysowner » 26 Mar 2005, 08:58

shoveitpusher wrote: but do you seriously think if you hit something with enough force to move the pedal box it's going to be a nice experiance?


No. Fortunately I'm not one of those people who sits there watching Volvo ads and decides that its ok to crash because the nice men in white coats will have protected me. However some of these test scores must mean something. A car that scored 0 in a given test must be more dangerous than one that scored 5.

I completely agree with you, crashing can never be good - my old man has got severe whiplash from a series of accidents where he was waiting at juntions or to turn off a road etc. and someone ran into the back of him. In my thankfully limited experience of crashing I have learnt... 1/ If at all possible don't. 2/ Have a big car. 3/ Have good solid bumpers instead of bits of plastic so that most low-speed crunches will mainly result in damage to the other car. I think the thing people miss (as you have already sort-of said) is that the main issue should be avoiding the accident in the first place instead of trying to stop yourself from getting hurt once you're in it. What we need is better drivers on the road but how do you achieve that? Cos people are generally rubbish at driving, I think we've all got room for improvement.
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Postby shuvit-tim » 26 Mar 2005, 10:56

if in doubt buy a granada. hit a tree at 90 and my money would still be on the granny!

but seriously, crashing is not something we would wish on anybody and certainly isnt a laughing matter.

having said this i think EVERYONE should have had a car accident, but in a nice way, nothing nasty and nothing leaving anyone hurt. I'm a better driver for having crashed a car horribly. There is no such thing as a perfect driver, but there are varying degrees of experience, the more things you've experienced the better your chances of coping with them the next time they occur. (discuss)
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Postby Shoveitpusher » 27 Mar 2005, 09:24

Shellysowner wrote:However some of these test scores must mean something. A car that scored 0 in a given test must be more dangerous than one that scored 5.


in my opinion no it doesn't.

incidently there is one manufaturer who decided on their own to up the crash requirements of their vehicles before the encap tests came in. they didn't make a fuss at the time and with encap now have a very nice line in 5* encap advertising. the company Renault.

this in no way belittles the cae engineers who do apply their knowledge to make cars safer than they were and handle better.
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Postby Shellysowner » 27 Mar 2005, 22:59

Renault eh? Oh well you learn summat everyday, I'd always just written them off as stupid french cars with cr*p electrics! (and also autoboxes as my mate has found to his cost.... in fact the electrics aint that cheap either!!!)
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Postby Shellysowner » 28 Mar 2005, 00:00

Spot the deliberate mistake (apart from the purple paint and yellow interior, blah. Also a new type of rear valance...

<img src="http://i10.ebayimg.com/03/i/03/62/be/e9_12_sb.JPG" alt="nova rear valance...blah" align=middle /img>.

This one looks like the car is a french smoker...

<img src="http://i11.ebayimg.com/01/i/03/bb/37/e4_1_b.JPG" alt="Smoker rear valance" align=middle /img>.

And if you're interested in this at all Tim then I'll help you with viewing/picking up etc. as it's not far from me.
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Postby Shellysowner » 28 Mar 2005, 00:10

Haha the most 70's car in the world. Also likely to be a very important piece of rodding history, but I can't help thinking - if chavs drove Vauxhall Victors...

<img src="http://i15.ebayimg.com/01/i/03/b3/6b/20_1_b.JPG" alt="Old thkool victor" align=middle /img>
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Postby Doive » 28 Mar 2005, 02:51

Its always a tad alarming when a seller doesn't even know the colour of his own car. Those novas are just crap, utter utter tripe. Can't stand ned novas, they all look pants. Give me a standard 1.3 SR any day.

That Victor is up my way, I may have to arrange to have a look just for the sake of it. Nevery know I may fall for the performance, its bound to shift with a 3 litre essex under the bonnet. Why oh why fit a Ford engine to a Vauxhall? I also see the owner has tastefully added on Leyland Tiger back lights. Subtle. As an elephant in a pink leotard.
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Postby Tortron » 29 Apr 2005, 03:28

Incidentally, do you have this sort of thing over in NZ torton? Is anywhere safe?



not as queer as some of those, there isnt really that many horrible looking bodykits around (well around my tiny backwater town anyway)
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Postby shuvit-tim » 29 Apr 2005, 03:58

Shellysowner wrote:
And if you're interested in this at all Tim then I'll help you with viewing/picking up etc. as it's not far from me.


cheers for that mate but that ones a nail. The wings have rotted. by th etime the wings have gone the arches, the boot, the sills, th einner arches and various parts of the bulkhead are also knackered due ot the tin worm.

if you're ever buying a nova, if there so much as a spot of rust, dont buy it, as there'll be a whole lot mroe on its way soon. Or if it truly is just surface, buy it strip it and respray it straight away!
when all else fails, rivets, cable ties and bodge tape will see you through

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Postby Shellysowner » 29 Apr 2005, 10:50

Blimey I'd forgotten about this thread, over a month old. I can't remember why I thought you'd want that Nova Tim but I think it was a reference to something else you said in a nother thread, like you wanted a cheap 1.4sr to rally in until the chevette was ready or something...
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Postby shuvit-tim » 30 Apr 2005, 20:15

oh ar, that sounds about right
when all else fails, rivets, cable ties and bodge tape will see you through

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